A few months ago, as I sat down for my daily meditation, I asked Source and Archangel Raphael if I needed any healing work at this time. I became aware of my shoulders and the chronic pain that seems to reside in them. My shoulders are often tense after a day at the computer, a full day of massage, or even a day not at the computer and not doing massage. Given the number of people that request extra massage work on their shoulders, I would say the majority of us suffer from this ailment.
I thought of the past life regression video by Brian Weiss that I always listen to, and heard his voice saying “carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders". I then envisioned two balls of Earth, one on each one of my shoulders. My shoulders felt heavy and in pain. I then asked God, Archangel Raphael, and my angels if they could lift this weight, these pressures from Earth off my shoulders. I watched them pick up the earth as if it was a simple basketball. As they held the weight above my shoulders I then saw a yellowish green color, thick like paint, running through my right shoulder. After a couple seconds there was a dark purple color in place of the green, and it turned into a shape like a prune. I don’t know what the significance of the prune was, but I sensed the dark purple color was important. The pressure in my body moved down to my lower right lung. Come to think of it, the pressure was the size of a prune there at the very very bottom of my right lung, as if it was deep emotional age building and building. I want to believe this stuck emotion was starting to be released slowly, very slowly, because I physically felt the soft urge to whimper. It felt like a memory was coming back, where I cried out of grief for a long period of time. I couldn’t help to think that this grief came from a past life, or past lives for that matter. It may not have even been a recent past life, but rather a buildup of grief after grief, from lifetime after lifetime. It then occurred to me that my grief had transitioned into perfectionism in this lifetime. For me, it seemed the long-term grief, I never fully healed from, transitioned to perfectionism. I say this because when you experience grief, or rather a feeling of regret, as if you lost control, the opposite of saying don’t lose control is to tell yourself to do the right thing every time. The desire to always choose or be right at all times turns into perfectionism. Don’t mess up! Don’t cause anymore grief!
Living a life of pins and needles is created when we don't allow ourselves to make a mistake or wrong turn. This way of life keeps us on edge. It is living in fear at its very core, and it often presents itself with our raised shoulders and heightened awareness of the dangerous wrong turns we can make throughout the day. This fear is all in our mind of course, however stems from the past events, and traumas, where we allowed grief to sink into our being.
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